Before I Start, I’d Like To Explain….

Before I share with you what happened at the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021, I want the people to know that I’m not wanting to relive the issues. I don’t want you to think that I’m sour or wanting to stay in a negative mindset. I will tell you that I am angry, and I’m working through all of this. I wasn’t able to see a therapist, I never have actually, I’m sure it would’ve been great for me. At this time, speaking and writing is my therapy and after writing about it, I do feel some sort of release- Until I’m able to get another form of it, this is it.

I’m not a natural grump. I’ve just been through some shitty situations. Even so, I want to be better, I have to be better and I need to be in a better environment. I know that I’m not the only one. Have any of you been raised in a family wanting and yearning to run away from them and never come back? Okay, well, have you ever wanted more in life and realised that the people in proximity to you were not the ones to help you get it. They were in fact manipulative, jealous and wanting just the opposite for you. Now, that’s a nasty situation huh? There’s so much more though.

In the last 5 years or so, I’ve learned a bit about frequencies and vibrations- only enough to realize that both need to be high….that managing my thoughts and feelings is what will then result in a higher frequency/vibration which, will then bring all that I’ve ever wanted to me in this place. I haven’t studied in depth of F&V just yet, I’ve only brushed over the surface. How can someone’s F&V be high when they’re angry, annoyed and upset all the time? This is the way I feel when I’m with “family”. It’s not right. This is what I’ve been going through.

40 years in this place, on Mama Earth and not once as a child, teen or young adult do I remember a “family” member, “family” friend, stranger, “teacher” or guide come to me and say, “Max/Maxine, in this place, here on Earth in order for you to have a successful life journey, your gonna have to learn about the Self, Spirit Realm, Spiritual/Universal Laws, manifestations, frequencies, vibrations and money….and I’m gonna be the one to teach you.” It would have saved me so much heartache, pain and poverty. It just seems like my life here (the previous years from today) was wasted, wandering in the wilderness. Not even the Angels or Spirits told me anything about it. I was only given signs and symbols but never anything to do with the 7 subjects I just listed. You say, “Well you could’ve asked”. How can someone ask about something they know nothing of? This is part of the anger that I’ve been working through.

Let’s be real. When born into these human “families”, it’s sometimes like being born into a cult, and sometimes it’s not the good side of culture either. Damn near impossible to get out of. You basically live on their words, beliefs and actions. Those before you didn’t do anything great, neither did the ones around you. It’s not something to brag about. It’s like ignorance infecting the family, and they all want to keep it in the family- Idiocy and secrecy reign. I’ve tried leaving the “family” several times, only to be lured right back in because I didn’t have the finances, and wasn’t stable enough to be financially independent. It almost seemed like I was brought up this way intentionally. More details in book form.

Now, at the ripe age of 41, I have spirits and recently passed family members speaking to me, and you know from specific ones, I’m not so happy about it. To the Spirit Guides that have been oh so audible lately: You could’ve been audible long ago explaining all that I needed to know to become successful on this journey. Nada, I got Nada.

Many goals and dreams were smashed and annihilated because I didn’t know what was going on and neither did the ones around me. I didn’t know about money, didn’t know I how to manifest anything and I surely didn’t know about any spiritual or universal laws. Tell me something? Why do they keep this vital information tucked away and damn near sealed from children? I know that there are few families that do teach their children this information but, I’m speaking on the vast amount of children that are thrust into the public school systems while their parents are slaving away. Why is this vital information kept from new spirits that arrive here?

I’m a bit upset and angry with these Spirit Guides. Who wants to be told the rules of the game in the 4th quarter? Who, please tell me who? As I write this, they are in the background repeatedly saying to me, “it’s a process”. Nope, that’s not enough information, sorry.

So, yes, as you can see, I have a bit of anger and questions to work through. This anger didn’t truly arise until about a year and a half ago after the tumultuous times I had at my Grandmother’s house in 2021.

I know I deserve more, I deserve better. I want to be happy and at peace. I don’t recall the last time I felt happiness or felt at peace but, I know one thing, it was never with my “family”.

Anyhow, enough of my finger babble. Here, I’ll share my most recent events, other occurrences and early childhood will be written into book form, as said before. Stay tuned, the next post we’ll start at the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021. Thank You for taking the time out to read. See you soon.

My Best,