My name is Maxine, named after my Grandmother on my Ma’s side but I like to be called Max. Lately, I’ve been leaning towards the name, Exixam- I feel like a totally different being than from 5 or so years ago. I’m in the “process” of healing from my “Family”, the people in close proximity, my city, society, participating on Earth, spiritual trauma and of course all the idiotic decisions I’ve made that were rooted out of the programs that were installed within me.
Truthfully, when I was in my mid teens, I didn’t think I was going to live this long. A few friends had passed away and there was and still is a stigma passing around that goes a little something like this, “The Good Die Young”. And because of my nature or how I knew myself to be, I had a feeling I was just passing by. I’ve had to go into my archives to get it removed several times over the last 25 years.
Anyhow, I am 41 now. Currently living in what is typically called a “toxic” home. A home that consists of 5 other people: my 40 year young brother, the Misogynist Caveman (I say this lovingly yet annoyed at the same time), his partner who’s backbone is actually strengthening, she’s no longer as week and defenseless as she use to be, and their beautiful 15 yo son and 17 yo daughter- My nephew is sweet and pretty much stays to himself and my niece is just the same but, she’s picked up her fathers mouth which isn’t such a good thing.
I sleep on one half of a sectional that was separated from the other, the short end. Both directly across from each other but both on opposite walls. My Ma’ sleeps on the other which has a full space missing, she often fills it with blankets. I tell her all the time to switch with me so she doesnt mess up her back sleeping that way. As I write this she is watching recordings of people playing casino games at casinos, on Youtube.
A gift of mine has heightened within the last 11 months or so. I’m not so sure why it’s considered a gift. My recently passed Grandmother has been softly audibly speaking to me since May of last year. Her and a few others are consistently saying, “it’s a process” when I’m thinking or moving stressfully or when I’m a bit anxious. She passed about a year and a half after evicting me, my Ma’ and her bully Faith. Her daughter, Joan the POA had persuaded her to do so. I’ll go into detail about this later but just know, Joan lied in court, several times.
Anyway, from the otherside my Grandma’ speaks, a little too much actually. The family has always thought I was crazy so, her and the other spirits and guides that speak to me aren’t really helping them think otherwise. If I had to give an analogy of the whole situation, it would be like the story of Joseph in the bible. I’ve had the ability of foresight in dreams since I was a child and I’m very sensitive to the non-physical. My dreams haven’t been as clear as they once were because I’ve been overindulging in coffee which has made my dreams a bit foggy and not as memorable as before.
As a child, when anything would happen within the family, we were often told, “whatever happens, stays here”. My Grandmother even had a framed picture in her bathroom that said, “whatever happens at Grandma’s house, stays at Grandma’s house”.
After being evicted, I became very depressed and angry. I did everything I could for my Grandmother and she was the only one in the family that I would talk to in depth about anything. I trusted her, cared for her and cooked for her. I couldn’t help financially in the house, I wasn’t working at the time but my Grandma would remind me ever so often that it was okay, and this is what “family” is supposed to do….etc. I actually thought our little bond was stronger than the whispers of that serpent, I mean, stronger than the whispers of Joan, her POA.
The question is, why is my Grandmother now whispering to me and not the others? Why is she not communicating with her sons and daughters as she is with me right now? This should speak volumes to those reading right now.
After all the lies, backstabbing, stolen inheritances and toxic times, I am here to let it all out. No more keeping it in the “family”, it’s not healthy nor normal….to me that is. I’m releasing all this sh*t. You’ll be shocked to hear about all that I’ve gone through, the good, the bad….the real, the raw, the truth.
Stay tuned….
My Best,
P.S I’ve started a Youtube channel specifically to release all that’s been bottled within. Still, I explain myself better in writing than I do speaking and I want to change this. If you’d like to view my channel, just know I’m starting over and I’m doing the best I know how, right now. My Youtube handle can be found at the bottom and some side panels of every page, you can also see the link just below. Thank you.
Click Here To Get To My YouTube Channel!
©Maxine Leola Thomas
